Screen Shot 2015-07-05 at 10.31.15 AMI must say, no one has ever told me that. And I hope no one will ever tell me that again.

Screen Shot 2015-07-01 at 3.00.30 PM

Pop some molly, go on Ok Cupid. It’s a slam dunk night for this guy.


If any New Yorkers are interested, I’m happy to put you in touch. Make sure you know they don’t like to “work” hard, “haha”.

fat chicks

I do not like this.

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2015-06-06 11.58.50

Just a casual continuation of last week’s post. Rated PG for Parental Guidance because I absolutely need my mom to coddle me after this message.

2015-06-02 20.05.19

No. I actually don’t like anyone in my bed to be honest.

oral reciprocation


smile every day


I’m not sure if that’s such a great idea. I don’t smile that much.


I actually wore a scoliosis brace in my adolescence. Please don’t make me break it back out of the closet at my parents’ house. I don’t think I can live with that shame again.


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