black tarReally makes me┬áthink. In particular, really makes me think he’s going to kill me in this exact way.

sex not interested

Poor me.

Screen Shot 2015-07-05 at 10.31.15 AMI must say, no one has ever told me that. And I hope no one will ever tell me that again.

Screen Shot 2015-07-01 at 3.00.30 PM

Pop some molly, go on Ok Cupid. It’s a slam dunk night for this guy.

IMG_0206

If any New Yorkers are interested, I’m happy to put you in touch. Make sure you know they don’t like to “work” hard, “haha”.

fat chicks

I do not like this.

Screen Shot 2015-06-16 at 2.01.03 PM

YOU ARE MY DAD’S AGE, SIR.

2015-06-06 11.58.50

Just a casual continuation of last week’s post. Rated PG for Parental Guidance because I absolutely need my mom to coddle me after this message.

2015-06-02 20.05.19

No. I actually don’t like anyone in my bed to be honest.

oral reciprocation

Really?

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