Bye Girl

Like many cafes, bars, and strip clubs, my profile has acquired a regular visitor. Unfortunately for me, this visitor is a female. And unfortunately for her, I am straight as an arrow.

As you can see, the girl’s profile lists her as bisexual. If you ask my friends, many of them can tell you about my lamenting about being a straight female. If only I were bi, I could love so many more people. And females are so much easier to understand, if only because I am one – and a crazy one at that. But no. I think vaginas are odd contraptions that lead to creepy aliens in one’s womb. Even my gynecologist has expressed concern with my distaste for the vag. In conclusion, I’m too straight. Someone get me further onto the Kinsey Scale stat.

While I appreciate this regular visitor’s regular visits, I only wish I could tell her the truth: I think her anatomy is icky. Cool mask though. Maybe we can be friends so I can borrow it.

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