Last night something weird happened.

I was doing my usual profile check, hoping for to find either ridiculously romantic or ridiculously hilarious messages in my Ok Cupid inbox. When I got to the site, a little window popped up asking if I wanted a “Free 15-Minute Boost.”

A…what?

Of course I clicked “yes” because I’ll take anything if it’s free.

Suddenly a ticker appeared on the side of my screen with a 15-minute countdown. It was telling me how many suitable (or unsuitable) men were viewing a link to my profile. It looked a lil something like this:

This was toward the end, as you can see if you know how to read a digital timer. I hope you know how to do that for your own sake.

While my profile could have been viewed by over 4000 dudes, only around 50 had clicked. And from that 50, these are all the messages I got:

I’ll admit I was hoping for and expecting more. I probably average 4-5 messages a day as it is, so this wasn’t particularly exciting to me.

I suppose this post serves as a warning more than anything. Don’t pay to have your profile promoted. But if they offer it up for free, you should obviously do it. Because you may get a messages like this:

Though to be fair, he was referring to this photo that had a 5-minute stint as my profile picture. I think I may go back to it because it makes my eyes look extra icy hot.