A Failed Experiment

Recently, my roommate and I were playing around on my Ok Cupid account and checking out the available bachelors when I came up with an idea. What would happen if I let Maddie, a person who has lived with me for two years and knows me inside and out (not sexually though), pick my new photo?

I told her to choose a picture of me that captures my essence. Make it very, very me. She was excited to have such a task and started clicking through every photo of me on Facebook. Once she made her decision, I’ll admit I wasn’t surprised with her choice:

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Thus far, it hasn’t gone very well.

It turns out that my dreidel costume and drunken expression are not especially attractive to online daters. Despite the fact that this photo describes me quite well, with my neurotic Jewish sense of humor, my affinity for vodka, and my desire to work in comedy, no guys are biting. In fact, since Maddie made this my profile picture on Ok Cupid, I’ve gotten fewer messages than ever before.

This is the only message I’ve received about the picture:

dreidel pic

While I’m glad this guy could appreciate me, I could not find it in my heart to message him back. Mainly because he simply isn’t my type. Actually, very few people are. I’m quite picky.

What I wonder is this: Why did my fatbooth photo garner so much attention while my dreidel dazzler got none? I can only imagine that guys were okay with me digitally altering a photo to make myself less attractive as long as I have a few pretty pictures after it. However, when I post a less-than-flattering-yet-seriously-great photo that makes me look less like a model and more like a Jewish toy, it’s game over. This picture is me in real life. And if they don’t like me, they can get outta here. Because that costume is amazing.

I’m not sure what my next photo will be but it seems as though the dreidel has to go if I want to receive anything in my inbox. Got any ideas? Let me know in the comments.

Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day. I forgot today is the day of love. Enjoy that, I guess. I’m getting burgers with Maddie to celebrate because she’s the only one that seems to get me.

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