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Only the good die young and skinny, but the best die old, fat, and happy.

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I feel like you answered your own question.

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I don’t play.

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I have so many questions.

cupcake killer

Say “serial killer” one more time.

Screen Shot 2015-07-05 at 10.31.15 AMI must say, no one has ever told me that. And I hope no one will ever tell me that again.

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Pop some molly, go on Ok Cupid. It’s a slam dunk night for this guy.

fat chicks

I do not like this.

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YOU ARE MY DAD’S AGE, SIR.

smile every day

 

I’m not sure if that’s such a great idea. I don’t smile that much.

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