2016-06-20-22-57-54

I am verklempt.

lyft-cousin

Great!

dad-in-prison

Over/under on this guy having a criminal record?

sex

Nah.

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If you’re a psychic by hobby, you should know that I think being a psychic by hobby is the least sexy thing I can think of.

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I actually laughed so hard at “A wild brotha’ Approaches”

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This is clearly a generic message. Don’t send these.

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Found this in the “Other” inbox in my Facebook messages. I haven’t gotten any less single since he sent it a year and a half ago so maybe I should go for it.

Silence

Hi from my sickbed.

After arriving at my office early this morning, my co-workers told me to leave immediately. They claimed I looked like I was either hungover, half dead, or both. Truth is, these days, I don’t have enough “fun” to be hungover anymore.

So here I lay ill. And for the first time in months, I’ve actually had time to think about things other than my job or networking or being funny or being adept in social situations (i.e. not drooling on my own shirt when I’m feeling relaxed in public places).

You may wonder what I’m thinking about. You may not. But either way, I’m going to tell you.

All I can think about is dating and the disappointments that come with it.

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