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K.

kutie kelly

Is it just me or is this insanely creepy?

christmas gift

You already have several pictures since this is a dating app based solely on photos. Also I’m a beautiful, JAPpy Jewess who don’t need no Christian man.

I love you, Adam!

I’m excited to announce that I have finally gotten my first heated comment on this here blog:

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My new hater Adam took major issue with a post I wrote a few weeks ago titled “Howdy”. While I was prepared to receive backlash for a site like this, I have only one thing to say: Of all the posts I’ve written, this is the one that made you so angry? Personally, I think “Howdy” was pretty tame. But I’m an idiot so what do I know?

Because I was so excited to receive this comment, I’ve decided to take a moment today to answer all of Adam’s questions (don’t be confused…despite the lack of question marks, some of these are questions…I think) and respond to his comments. So Adam, my internet love, this is for you.

Continue reading

This Made Me Laugh Out Loud

I wish I matched with this guy. In other news, what in the world did we use to communicate before emojis?

Thanks to Mark Barry for [just] the tip.

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In honor of the release of Justin’s deposition tapes today. Also, definitely not.

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That escalated quickly.

Also, most messages I receive refer to my bio. It states, “It’s rude to swipe left.” It’s meant to be funny but it really seems to shatter some fragile gents’ confidence levels. 

A Lesson For The Crazies

Naturally, online dating brings out the psychos of the world. I’m sure they have some redeeming qualities somewhere deep inside themselves but sometimes they’re just too much to handle. Due to my “Always Swipe Right” rule on Tinder, I’ve come across some pretty agressive crazies. Below is my favorite psycho suitor. And by favorite I really mean, below is a guy who should probably be in serious therapy. And that is not a knock on therapy – I think everyone should go. It rocks.

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…And then he blocked me.

I think all men (and women, and people who don’t associate themselves with a specific gender, and horses, and radishes, and everyone else) should be aware of this: These kind of messages are the least attractive thing one can ever receive. They make you look like a desperate crazy person (which we all are – most of us just know how to hide it at first) and they also serve to insult me. They’re aggressive and they’re rude. I will say, though, that the Easter Island *block* head was a nice touch. Unfortunately, Emojis can’t save you after such an erratic and uncalled for tirade.

While I don’t feel bad for ignoring this guy’s questions and pleas, I do feel bad for him as a human being. Dude wants attention and isn’t getting it. The thing is, someone needs to teach him the right way to approach a person, even on a stupid app like Tinder. I just absolutely refuse to be that person. Let his mom do it.

Ready for the kicker here? Just one day later, I checked my visitors on Ok Cupid. Guess who stopped by?

I realize this post may seem mean. I don’t intend for it to be that way. Insecurities and the need for attention and love are a part of life. However, I can’t help but be intrigued by this gent’s way of going about remedying his lonely situation. The verbosity of his messages and his automatic insistance that I’m ignoring him (some people just don’t check Tinder! Although I’ll admit I was ignoring him out of fear) serve as a repellent. Forget ever finding someone who will be attracted to anything of this sort. If he continues on this path, our buddy may be on the self-love train for a lot longer.

I still think this guy is one of the crazies. But as I’ve said before, we all are in our own way. I just believe messages like this should be a teaching tool. Consider this your lesson from me. Don’t show your crazy in this format, and don’t think a cute Emoji can save you from yourself.

I hope you find what you’re looking for, Tinder Friend. In the meantime, thank you for blocking me.

NOTE: The subject of this post found it and has requested his name be redacted. All edits made are per his request.

Decided to revive my Tinder account tonight. I’m swiping right on literally everyone. 

Let me know if you have an idea of what an “Obama stand up routine” is !!

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