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On Love and Netflix

I can’t sleep at night. This is probably due to my inherent anxiety problem and the fact that I’ve gotten into the terrible habit of having my Netflix run as I attempt to drift off. According to my doctor, stimulation from a screen is the worst thing you can put into your brain before attempting a trip to snooze city. Whoops.

Because I always have a TV show running in the background when I’m doing something, or in the foreground when I’m not, I’ve become committed to a few particular shows. What I realized recently — as I made my nightly attempt to quiet my brain and force it into slumber — is that the way I watch television is quite similar to the way I see men.

You probably think these are about to be the ramblings of an insomniac, and they are. Still, I can’t help but notice how the way I watch particular shows mimics the way I see different individuals or groups of dudes who I’ve known in the past, or know to exist somewhere out in the world.

This might seem like a long shot but at least it gives you the chance to judge me on the types of TV shows I watch. And the kinds of men I befriend and/or date.

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Screen shot 2014-03-12 at 10.06.23 PM

These guys both looked at my profile yesterday. They might want to date, but I would prefer not to.

(Literary humor, you are a beautiful thing.)

rescued puppiesBRB, getting hitched to my new internet Romeo. But only if Ha will be my bridesmaid.

 

IMG_6360Can’t say I see the resemblance.

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Screen shot 2014-01-07 at 10.52.03 AMNo. I do not.

Good Girl

According to multiple men, I’m a certain “type” of girl. Forget my inherent need to create or my Ivy League education or my love of animals or my personality in general. Apparently, none of those things are necessary tidbits of information when it comes to defining who I am: the Good Girl.

At this moment in time, I have 1012 matches on Tinder. This is after deleting thousands of past matches. At this point in my experiment, I’d guess I’ve had well over 10,000 total matches. Word to the wise – only swiping right on every single photo will get you these kind of numbers. But just so you know, it isn’t worth it. If this blog isn’t proof enough that most of these people are terrible, read on for more.

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Mark Barry

Submitted by my medical school friend who will be the best looking male doctor anyone has ever seen.

long as shit 1 long as shit 2Settle down, now.

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