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Actually I am, and you’re fired.

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Follow Your Energy

I had a really important lunch today. Not because it was business- or networking-related, but because it was with an old friend who managed to screw my head on a bit straighter for me.

Since you last heard from me, I was in a sad place. I’m still in a sad place sometimes. While I don’t always make it publicly known, I am still hurting from the events of a few weeks ago. I am also in a consistent battle with my depression and anxiety disorders, which make my healing process that much more difficult.

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A free lesson in Women’s Studies 101.

The Fastest Way To A Man’s Heart Is Through His Blood:Brain Barrier

Prepare yourselves for the best Ok, Stupid submission of all time.

A close friend of mine went on a date. During this date, he accidentally found himself on a bizarre acid trip. I can’t make this stuff up.

Ever the creative soul, this friend created an audio accompaniment to the story. Hit “play” if you dare.

 

Now, I present to you, “The Fastest Way To A Man’s Heart Is Through His Blood: Brain Barrier”, by an anonymous weirdo who is close to my heart.

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Actually, yes…

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The Friendship Problem

Finding friends is like dating, except harder. And more necessary.

I had no idea how lucky I was to have people living in the same house as me in college. Living with the girls below was like having constant entertainment and companionship. What I’d give to go back to that big, crazy house…

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When I moved to LA last July, I only had a handful of friends out here. Like any naive college kid with a hefty number of people in her phone’s contact list, I assumed I’d easily pick up more friends as soon as I arrived in my new(ish) city. Having spent three summers out here prior to making the permanent move, I was confident in my ability to find fun people to spend time with in a totally unromantic, strictly platonic way. I thought it’d be easy to make a whole bunch of friends who I could hang out with whenever I wanted, just like when I was in college.

I was wrong.

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I’m A Terrible Sexter

This is generally how sexting goes for me:

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I don’t find it sexy at all, especially when an absolute stranger wants to engage in textual acts with me.

The most intense sexting experience I’ve ever had was in the summer of 2012. I had just returned from my annual trip to Outside Lands, a music festival in San Francisco. A short and tattooed Los Angeles native somehow got a phone number out of me and proceeded to text me when I got home to LA, where I was spending the summer before my senior year at Penn.

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Apparently I’m Douchey

I’m insanely in love with the university I attended. I want to talk about college all the time. Just last weekend I went to a performance put on by a group from Penn and sitting among all those Penn alumni in attendance, I almost cried because I was so happy to be there.

So naturally, I mention college in my online dating profile.

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Mark Barry

Submitted by my medical school friend who will be the best looking male doctor anyone has ever seen.

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Tell it to me straight – did you go to Wharton?

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