Are You There, Bullies? It’s Me, Kelly

I came to a realization this week.

After reading this article, I’ve come to believe that my status as a late bloomer is the result of my years of being bullied during my formative years. I’m up to speed now in that department, but back then? Forget it. I was lucky if a guy wanted to be my partner during science lab.

My awkward self at age 16:

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When I look back on my time in high school, I see a girl who couldn’t understand why not one guy was interested in her. While most of my friends had relationships during these formative years, I was forever the singleton. I was the girl who couldn’t get a date to prom — I went stag to both of them — and I was the girl who tried to be content hanging with the single ladies every weekend while the rest of my friends spent time with their pre-pubescent boyfriends.

I swear the guys I went to high school with aged far more slowly than their public school counterparts. No muscles or facial hair to speak of, as far as I know.

So I suppose my main question is, did my time as the victim of high school bullies make me into the late bloomer I am?

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Music And Mood Swings

I’ve always related particular songs to certain people in my life. Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” makes me think of my mom every time it hits my eardrums. I think of my college friend whenever I hear “Ridin’ Solo” by Jason DeRulo. Whether it’s a classic rock anthem or a song that I used to dance to while drunk in my dorm room, music has always had a direct relationship to memories for me. So naturally, this is true with my past romantic partners.

My ex-boyfriend listened to Coldplay almost exclusively during our relationship, and I haven’t been able to listen to them without feeling sad since we broke up three years ago. I realize that Coldplay makes people feel sad anyway, but this is more of a nostalgia-type sadness that creeps up and makes me want to change the song.

The same is true for Pitbull and KeSha’s “Timber”. The song sucks. I know that. But the last guy I dated introduced me to the hit about “goin’ down” and it was the first song we ever danced to together. Now, since our romance has kind of ended (has it really, though? I honestly have no idea), I need to turn off the radio every time “Timber” comes on. Which, by the way, is very often.

It’s strange that music can bring back so many memories from your past. I’m 99% sure I had my sloppy and disgusting first kiss to Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop”. I will forever think of that lacrosse player’s tongue licking my chin and his beer spilling on my hair every time that song plays. Luckily it doesn’t play often, and I’m still upset that he ruined my hair with his drunken spillage.

So…what does all this music and sadness talk have to do with online dating?

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