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Only the good die young and skinny, but the best die old, fat, and happy.

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how tall u are

8’4″.

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I feel like you answered your own question.

penn reporter

Hmm. Do not know how to answer…

Screen Shot 2015-07-05 at 10.31.15 AMI must say, no one has ever told me that. And I hope no one will ever tell me that again.

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Pop some molly, go on Ok Cupid. It’s a slam dunk night for this guy.

fat chicks

I do not like this.

oral reciprocation

Really?

scoliosis

I actually wore a scoliosis brace in my adolescence. Please don’t make me break it back out of the closet at my parents’ house. I don’t think I can live with that shame again.

assistant

Fun fact: I will never turn down an offer to be on the receiving end of a financial transaction. But that’s the only thing I’m willing to be on the receiving end of so please don’t get confused.

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