do battle

Trust me, he’s not worth it.

Follow Your Energy

I had a really important lunch today. Not because it was business- or networking-related, but because it was with an old friend who managed to screw my head on a bit straighter for me.

Since you last heard from me, I was in a sad place. I’m still in a sad place sometimes. While I don’t always make it publicly known, I am still hurting from the events of a few weeks ago. I am also in a consistent battle with my depression and anxiety disorders, which make my healing process that much more difficult.

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Are You There, Bullies? It’s Me, Kelly

I came to a realization this week.

After reading this article, I’ve come to believe that my status as a late bloomer is the result of my years of being bullied during my formative years. I’m up to speed now in that department, but back then? Forget it. I was lucky if a guy wanted to be my partner during science lab.

My awkward self at age 16:

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When I look back on my time in high school, I see a girl who couldn’t understand why not one guy was interested in her. While most of my friends had relationships during these formative years, I was forever the singleton. I was the girl who couldn’t get a date to prom — I went stag to both of them — and I was the girl who tried to be content hanging with the single ladies every weekend while the rest of my friends spent time with their pre-pubescent boyfriends.

I swear the guys I went to high school with aged far more slowly than their public school counterparts. No muscles or facial hair to speak of, as far as I know.

So I suppose my main question is, did my time as the victim of high school bullies make me into the late bloomer I am?

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I love you, Adam!

I’m excited to announce that I have finally gotten my first heated comment on this here blog:

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My new hater Adam took major issue with a post I wrote a few weeks ago titled “Howdy”. While I was prepared to receive backlash for a site like this, I have only one thing to say: Of all the posts I’ve written, this is the one that made you so angry? Personally, I think “Howdy” was pretty tame. But I’m an idiot so what do I know?

Because I was so excited to receive this comment, I’ve decided to take a moment today to answer all of Adam’s questions (don’t be confused…despite the lack of question marks, some of these are questions…I think) and respond to his comments. So Adam, my internet love, this is for you.

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My Romantic History: A Timeline

While you’re all reading about my current romantic foibles, I have come to realize that most of you really don’t know how I got here. In other words, you don’t know where I’ve been on this path toward finding The One.

Many people have asked me about my personal dating history. They probably didn’t want to know this much, but here it is.

Spoiler alert: I’ve been in bed watching Netflix, which is why I’m still painfully alone.

What you should know first-off is that I never prioritized dating. At age 5 I told my mom I didn’t want a husband – I just wanted to live with roommates. As a 23-year-old Los Angeles newbie, I work hardest at my career. School was always my main focus. Now my life is dedicated to getting a great job and learning to be an adult by cooking and going to the gym. Perhaps to find happiness in companionship, I need to put energy into finding love the way I put energy into everything else that I do. Will that work? Maybe not, but at least it’s a start. If this aggressiveness I have could get me into the Ivy League and onto the West Coast post-graduation, it could probably get me wifed up. Maybe.

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Jay

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Much like Snapchat Suitor Cole, Jay was a potential lover that I’d never actually met. It all started out with a message. Then a few more. Eventually, he asked for my number and I obliged. At first glance, Jay seemed perfectly suitable as a human and more importantly as a date. He went to a great college (one that I was rudely rejected from in my senior year of high school) and he was on the swim team there. Everyone knows abs are a serious plus and make terrible men seem kind of okay. This was almost one of those situations.

Knowing that he was well educated and seemed like a nice guy, I told Jay I’d meet him for a casual dinner at a nearby Farmers Market. He insisted on picking me up at my house and taking me there, rather than meet. I thought that was pushy. I’m not trying to give out my address to any old dude. Feeling a little turned off but still attracted to his potential swimmer’s body, I did what any modern gal in the online dating game would do before giving him the go-ahead. I googled him. 

While Google yields fine results about sports accomplishments and scholarships, the ultimate prize is to find a man with a Facebook page that’s open to the public. This should be a turn-off, as only idiots have their Facebook profiles completely available to everyone with Internet access. Jay is one of those idiots, though. And this leads to why we never ended up meeting.

While doing some Facebook sleuthing (stalking sounds bad), I saw that one of my closest friends in LA was a mutual friend. Obviously I texted him and asked his thoughts on this Jay character.

His reply: “We worked together. I wasn’t the biggest fan of his. But hopefully he’s matured since I knew him.”

I knew this was my friend’s kind and considerate way of saying he’s horrible. I confirmed later when I told him that Jay was getting on my nerves with his persistent texting.

His reply: “He’s cocky AND annoying. But maybe he’s your soulmate. I can’t be responsible for making any decisions for you.”

This friend of mine will be very excited to read the following assessment of him and it may get me into trouble later, but I’m gonna say it anyway: he is almost always right. And because of that, I told Jay I was too busy for a potential relationship. I proceeded to delete his number.

This all happened in early September.

Fast forward to two days ago. I had just arrived at LAX after a long flight back from a visit home to Philadelphia. Curiously, while in flight, I’d received a text from an unfamiliar number. The conversation proceeded as follows:

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WHAT?! No one ever just comes back like that, months later. Only crazy people do that. Or desperate people. Or people who don’t realize that I am both crazy and desperate and that they should stay away from me.

While I told a lil fib to get him off my back (I’m not exactly dating someone – just currently going on dates with a guy I like), I worry this will happen again in two more months. I’m just waiting for a text asking me if this “boyfriend” of mine and I have broken up yet, and if I’d like to be picked up for dinner at the Farmers Market.

While I’ve never met Jay and don’t really plan to, I feel guilty for rejecting him. It’s true that I’m not currently looking to date anyone beyond the guy I’ve been hanging out with lately. I swear I’m not lying about that. But I guess this nagging guilt will always come with rejecting someone who doesn’t know that my friend told me he sucks and I agreed. Really, the kid’s only crime was having a mutual friend with me on social media.

Moral of the story? Keep your Facebook profiles private, guys. Otherwise it leads to a date rejection. And a post about you on my blog. 

Sorry, Jay.

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