hi hi u there hi

Sry I was busy.

i love you

Thanks, I needed that.

dtf why not

He didn’t even wait for me to answer the question before assuming I’d say no. Granted, I would have either said no or ignored him altogether. Still rude though.

mischa girl

I have absolutely no idea how I managed to match with a female but perhaps it’s a sign that I should try switching sides, since the whole heterosexual thing isn’t really working for me. Do you guys think Mischa is a good choice?

pillow hates me


Sealing The Deal

A few days ago I was talking to a co-worker about relationships. He asked me if I was interested in being in one and I told him that at the moment, I was content in my singledom and too busy to commit to anything.

I take that answer back.

Continue reading

sup slut


goat hill 1 goat hill 2

What is this guy on? And where can I get some?

Screen shot 2014-03-27 at 9.36.00 AM

These guys emailed me twice in one day. Should I join?


Remember that time I was incredibly embarrassed that I texted “howdy” to a hot guy that I wanted to date? I don’t blame you if you’ve forgotten. I only wish I have.

Ever since that moment in my life where I hit send and immediately assumed our dating life would be over before it ever started, I’ve seen countless dudes use the same hokey greeting without shame. I was in Texas and without sleep when I sent mine. “Howdy” is kind of a thing there. But these guys have no excuse. They must actually use it in real life.


howdy 1 howdy 2 howdy 3 howdy 4 howdy 5 howdy 6

And there are plenty more where those came from. Apparently one girl’s embarrassment is another guy’s choice of salutation.

As a side-note, “Salutations” may be a worse hello than “howdy.”

That text was the first and last time I’ve ever used the word. I think it sounds so incredibly silly and it’s hard to take someone seriously if they use that term. I think it’s fair to say that East Coast jappy Jewesses like me don’t take to the country way of talkin’.

Few greetings actually work on apps like Tinder. For me, guys who start with just “hi”, “hey”, “wassup”, and “yo” all go ignored. It’s boring and I’m not looking for small talk. Stand out or get out.

Though I’m the first to admit that those stand-out messages usually stand out in a bad way. As in, they’re insane.

Maybe there isn’t a good way to greet someone on a dating app. We should probably just communicate through a mutual right swipe followed by┬áradio silence. Go about our days without having to be judged by our “howdy’s” and die alone.


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