Tag Archives: profile
Posted in Tinder
Tags: about me, awkward, bomb, comedy, creeper, creepy, criminal, dislike, freaky, haha, harvard, horror, kelly diamond, lmao, lol, los angeles, ok cupid, ok stupid, okc, online dating, personal, pick up line, profile, qotd, quote, rofl, scary, summary, tinder, unabomber, writer, yikes
I’ve been really low on Ok Cupid messages lately. Do you think it’s because this is one of the answers I have on my profile?
Is this not attractive to men? I don’t understand.
Let’s be honest here: I first moved to LA in July 2013 and at that point, never in my entire life had I been on a “real” date. Despite one longterm relationship during college and a handful of messy hook-ups, no one had ever bothered to ask me out and tell me I’m pretty. So when I moved to the golden coast, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I’d go on some dates with some real-life men and I’d maybe like it. And if I didn’t like it, I’d buy a goldfish to keep me company in my spinsterhood.
When it came to making my profile, I decided to go with a classic approach. That is, I’d be myself but not TOO much of myself. Because I am crazy and no one needed to know that. It had to be funny but not too offensive and genuine but not too nice. Because I am not a nice person. This, however, was the easy part. I was always a writer and I’m very self-centered so I was always a writer who wrote about myself. The complicated part of creating an online dating profile is selecting the perfect photo.
Photos are all about two things: show men that 1) you’re cute and 2) fit. That’s really all they seem to care about. I just had to prove to these online prowlers that I don’t look like the offspring of Snooki and Fat Albert. Luckily I don’t. At least on a good day. Below are the photos I included in my profile.
Caption: “Ugh, selfies. But seriously it was an amazing hair day.”
Caption: “This isn’t even my dog. And I’m not even a USC fan.”
Caption: “Madrid, te amo”
Great captions, am I right? And thus, the journey began.