sex not interested

Poor me.

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YOU ARE MY DAD’S AGE, SIR.

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I just want to take a moment to tell you all how sick I am of receiving messages like this. How is this an appropriate opening line? This shit makes me feel dirty and objectified, whether that’s the man’s intention or not. Treat me like a human rather than a body that’s yours to play with and demean with your “sexy” messages that I absolutely do not consent to or ask for. A simple and boring “hello” will get you way farther.

Perhaps a good rule of thumb: if you would be embarrassed to have your mother see the messages you send to women, maybe rethink what you’re sending.

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Sometimes tweeting leads you to potential sexual encounters.

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As a general rule I never engage these people, but I just couldn’t help myself with this one. To be continued…?

 

hang right now 1

 

 

I think I know what John had in mind when he asked if I want to “hang” right now…

 

hang right now 2

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Don’t touch me.

The Fastest Way To A Man’s Heart Is Through His Blood:Brain Barrier

Prepare yourselves for the best Ok, Stupid submission of all time.

A close friend of mine went on a date. During this date, he accidentally found himself on a bizarre acid trip. I can’t make this stuff up.

Ever the creative soul, this friend created an audio accompaniment to the story. Hit “play” if you dare.

 

Now, I present to you, “The Fastest Way To A Man’s Heart Is Through His Blood: Brain Barrier”, by an anonymous weirdo who is close to my heart.

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bi guy 1

I hadn’t…

bi guy 2

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Didn’t know one could look dick-deficient.

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