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Only the good die young and skinny, but the best die old, fat, and happy.

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My Deets

One of the features that Ok Cupid offers is a “My Details” section. It’s essentially a cheat sheet that one can scan instead of reading the entire profile. See mine below.

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One of the most important things to note here is body type. After talking to several of my friends, it’s become clear that this stat, along with height, is what people notice first. List yourself as thin, fit, or athletic? You’re good to go. “A little extra” or “more to love”? Only good to go if you’re using these hokey terms ironically (which I considered doing until I realized I’d only attract chubby chasers). But the worst of them all? “Average”. Average means you’re lame. I don’t know why. Perhaps because this is LA and the worthy people here do juice cleanses and practice hot yoga twice a day.┬áThis isn’t an LA stereotype by the way. Proof? I live next door to not one but three juice places.

I consider myself fortunate to be in the “thin” category, despite my taste for decadent chocolates and my distaste for physical activity. Check back in 20 years and I’ll probably be using the “more to love” option not only because I am bound to blow up in size due to my diet, but because I will still be single and looking and may think chubby chasing is a good way to go in my latent spinsterhood.

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