One of the weirdest things about online dating is coming across someone you know. I have an entire list of people I know on Tinder. A college friend and I chat on it for fun. Another sexy gay college friend sends me basketball and eggplant emojis over Tinder regularly (to be honest, I have no idea how homosexual him and heterosexual me matched but I’m happy we did.)

It’s also strange to match with people who have multiple mutual friends with me. In this case, James and I had several mutual Facebook friends, all of whom went to Penn. It was clear that we shared the same alma mater. Usually this is fun because it’s the chance to make a new friend. However, it was not fun this time. Because James weirded me out.

I never answered his pleas on Tinder again because he managed to find and friend me on Facebook. This means he went through our mutual friends’ profiles and looked for me. And then he friended me. And messaged me. Having no idea who he was at the time, I asked. He told me he met me on Tinder and asked if he could get some advice from me.

I’ll admit I feel guilty about what ensued. I told him it was pretty creepy that he searched through multiple people to find my Facebook. I still think it was. It’s one thing to stalk someone privately on Google Chrome’s incognito setting. It’s another thing to do it and then let them know by friending them.

I hope James finds what he’s looking for. He’s probably a super nice guy. But in the ways of advice, all I can tell him is to be less public with the creeping.